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What does ILU means?
What does ILU means?
I= I
L= Love
U=Urdu
so I love urdu…
tum kya samjhey they…
I love ullu..
to haan mein tum say bhi pyar karta hoon
Difference between Husband & gadha.
Difference between Husband & gadha.
Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,
but
Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!!
Raja and rani;
One day Raja and rani
decided to send messages
to each other by using
Pigeon instead of mobile.
The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message.
He angried and called to rani.
She told stupid “This was a missed call”
Girls are like phones.
Girls are like phones.
We like to be held
and talked too-
but if u press the
wrong button
u’ll be disconnected!
Who Is LECTURER?
Teacher To Student:
Can You Define Who Is LECTURER?
Student : A LECTURER Is A Person Who Has A Very Bad
Habit Of Speaking When Someone Is SLeeping.
Never KISS a lady;
Never KISS a lady police,
She will say, hands up.
Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next please
Always KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 time
Whenever i beat you;
Father to son:
whenever i beat you,
you dont get annoyed,
how you control your anger?
son: i start cleaning the toilet
seat with your toothbrush
What is a girl friend?
What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems,
subtraction of money,
multiplication of enemies
&
division of friends.
I want to share all your worries;
Girl: When we get married,
I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It’s very kind of you,
darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren’t married yet.
A girl & boy were sitting alone,
A girl & boy were sitting alone,
that boy started touching de girl,
Girl : dont touch me, all this only after marriage.
Boy : ok call me when u r married.
In art gallery couple sees;
In art gallery couple sees
picture of a girl covered by leaf.
Husband keeps watching.
Wife: ab chalo gay ya PAT JHARR
ka intezar kertay raho gay.
HUSBAND.!
A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!
If I was an artist;
If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!
.
But I’m only a cartoonist!
Difference between a woman and a magnet?
What is the difference between
a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
Full form of maths;
Full form of maths
M=mentally
A=admited
T=teacher
H=harassing
S=students
World is spinning;
If ur world is spinning around
and
ur heart is beating fast..
Do u think its love?
?
?
?
Na Munna Na
it’s called High Blood Pressure:p.
True Love;
True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.
Q: Do u knw y in a couple’s photo;
Q: Do u knw y in a couple’s photo
man is on d right side & woman on d left?
A: Coz as per balance sheet,Liabilities r on d
Left Side & Assets on d Right!
How should I convey;
Tom : How should I convey the
news to my father that I’ve failed?
David: You just send a telegram:
Result declared, past year’s performance repeated.
Girlfriend & Police;
Girlfriend & Police
Main Kia Baat Common Hay ???
.
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.
.
socho !
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.
.
.
.
.
socho !
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.
.
.
.
Aur Socho !
.
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.
.
Donoo Hi Paisa Kha Kr
Chor Dete Hain !:
Three ants find an elephant asleep;
Three ants find an elephant asleep.
One says,”We’ll kill him!”
Other one says,”We’ll break his legs!”
3rd one says:
“choro yaar bechara akela hai aur hum teen..!!”:-)
Americans make a car;
Americans make a car
& 2 get some touch ups
They snd it 2 Japan
& they add a faster engine
Thn Japan sent it 2 UK
Who then added tinted windows
Who thn sent d car to China.
They added a better interior.
Thn they sent it 2 Pakistan.
Pakistani luk @ d car & see
What a good job all of them have done.
So they flip the car over
&
Put a stamp on MADE IN PAKISTAN
One important thing;
TEACHER: Arshad, name one important thing
we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
Arshad: Me!
I wrote your name;
I wrote your name on sand,
it got washed.
I wrote your name in air,
it was blown away.
I wrote your name on my heart &
i got Heart Attack.
Our friendship means a lot to me.
Our friendship means a lot to me.
U cry i cry.
U laugh i laugh.
U jump out of the window
I look down & then
.
.
.
I laugh again
Advice Of Father;
The 1st Advice Of
Father To His Son
When Son Got His
Driving License Made,
Is
“Remember 1 Thing Son
If U’re Going To Hit
Anything, Make Sure
Its Cheap”
A recently fired;
A recently fired
stock trader said …
“This is worse than divorce…
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife…”
I m Always Delighted;
Man 1:
“I m Always Delighted
When People Stick Their
Noses In My
Business.”
Man 2:
“Why, What Do You Do?”
Man 1:
“i’ve A Company, Make
Tissue Papers …” ;->
The Elephant Sat On The Mercedes Car ?
What Happens When
The Elephant Sat On
The Mercedes Car … ???
.
.
.
.
Everyone Knows
“The Mercedes bends” ;->
you love me and no one else;
Girlfriend: And are you sure
you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure!
I checked the whole list again yesterday
Astronomers say
Astronomers say
“The universe is Finite…”
Which is a comforting
Thought
For those people ,
Who cannot remember
Where they leave Things
Son got his brain from me.
Husband: You know,
our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did ,
I still got mine with me!
When I was born;
When I was born
Devil said…Oh Shit!!!
Another GOOD PERSON!!!..
&
without water in ur bathroom,
Have a horrible day without water in ur bathroom,
while soap in ur eyes.
Oh!sorry, dis msg is not 4 u.
Its only 4 those who do not take bath everyday…
Diff between Dava & Daru;
What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
If you need advice,
If you need advice,
text me…
If you need a friend,
call me…
If you need me,
come to me…
But
If you need money.
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.
.
.
.
.
THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!
My Son has swallowed a key.
Man:Doctor ! My Son has swallowed a key.
Doctor: When ?
Man:Three Months Ago
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Man: We were using duplicate key
7 Angels came 2 Me;
7 Angels came 2 Me
&
asked 4 the most Inteligent,
Smart, Nice, Sweet,
Noble and Well Groomed Person.
So I gave Them Your Address
.
.
.
.
..
Dekha kesa Ullu banaya Un ko!:D
Taste this SMS;
Taste this SMS
Did u feel da taste of ginger?
No?
Sure?
Well…..
BANDAR KYA JAANE ADRAK KA SWAAD!!
when u read my message.
U look sweet when u read my message.
U look sweeter when u read my message & smile.
U look sweetest when u read my message, smile & reply.
So, try to look sweetest.
We will now upgrade your brain,
We will now upgrade your brain,
please wait….
Searching….
searching…
still searching….
Sorry,
NO BRAIN found…!
Open with Love…
Open with Love…
If I disturb U
I am Sorry!
But I need
To Say
I…
Love…
Disturbing you…
I can’t give you a job.
Manager:
Sorry, but I can’t give you a job.
I don’t need much help.
Job Applicant: That’s all right.
In fact I’m just the right person in this case.
You will see, I won’t be of much help anyway!!
How old is your father;
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born
I send you this fish;
><(((:>
I send you this fish
as a sign of our
FRIENDSHIP please
take care of it, Keep it
in your mobile.
Daily put your mobile in water,
So dat this fish wont die.
write an essay on a cricket match.
Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!
Rotten chicken;
Diner: I can’t eat such a rotten chicken.
Call the manager!
Waiter: It’s no use. He won’t eat it either.
Why Are Elephants Large, Gray And Wrinkly;
Why Are Elephants
Large, Gray And
Wrinkly… ?
.
.
.
.
Because
.
.
.
If They Were
Small Round & White
They Would Be
”Aspirins”
;->
An old rich man marries a young girl;
An old rich man marries a young girl.
Interviewer ask to girl-
aap nay in main shadi ke liye kya dekha?
girl- ek to inki income, aur doosre inke din kam.
Would you like your coffee black?
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
U r d Sunshine;
Boy U r d Sunshine
Of My Life !
Without U Life’s Like A
Dreamy Cloud !
U r In My Heart Like A
Lovely Drizzle In d Sun !
Girl: Now Go Further
I’ve 2 Listen More
Weather Report :
Himesh say to magnify a picture.
What will Himesh say to magnify a picture..?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Zara Zoom Zoom… ;->
Attitude of girls:
Attitude of girls:
When a boy sends dirty sms
she laughs for 10 minutes,
forward dat to her friends n
then replies the boy.
“i dont like that kind of sms ok?” :p ;->
Quaid’s Photos;
Friends I’m Collecting
Quaid’s Photos
Give Ur Contribution
2 My Collection.
A Small Condition Is
It Must Be On
500 Or 1000 Rupees Note
Mother-In-Law;
Why Did Lady Throw Out Her Mother-In-Law?
Because
Baba Ramdev (Yoga walay) Said
“Apni Saans Ko Bahar Nikalo..!!”
Think positive…
world as 1 huge chocolate cake.
Look at the world as 1 huge chocolate cake.
It would not be complete without
a few sweets & nuts.
Sweets like me & nuts like you!!!
I am a killer!
i am a killer!
i kill poople for money,
i am a killer! i kill people for money,
but ur my friend, so i will kill u for free of cost
What should be in a book to make it a bestseller;
Teacher:
What should be in a
book to make it a bestseller?
Tommy:
A girl on the cover
and
no cover on the girl.
Do u love me just coz my father;
He said… Do u love me just coz
my father left me a fortune?
She said… No stupid, I’d love u no matter
who left you the money!
Businessman explaining the reason for having 2 wives;
Businessman explaining the reason for having 2 wives
“Monopoly is always damaging
&
Competition improves service”
Define a True Music Lover;
Define a True Music Lover?
A Girl singing in a Bathroom
While Taking Bath
and a Boy Near the Keyhole
is Using His Ears Not His Eyes.
You are a DOG…
You are a DOG…
D = Darling
O = Of
G = Girls
Now u r smiling na?
Am i right??
Tu sach mein kutta hai
In Algebra;
Teacher says to student, In Algebra
A=B
&
B=C.
It means A=C.
Now give relevant example.
Student: Sir, I love you & You love your daughter,
It means that I love your daughter.
If a boy gives a love letter 2 a gal;
If a boy gives a love letter 2 a gal, people call him “Loffer”
But if a gal gives a letter 2 a boy, they call it “Offer”.
Feel the difference;)
Chemical symbol of Barium;
Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Sardar: BA
Professor:For sodium?
Sardar: NA
Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Sardar: BANANA
Is it pure honey;
Buyer to seller : is it pure honey ?
How do I know if it is pure honey ?
Seller : give the dog some honey ..
if the dog doesn’t lick it, it is pure honey
Buyer :what if the dog licks it ?
Seller: so it is not a real dog.
Hitler says,
Hitler says,
“There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary”
Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya fayidah?
“Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na”:
Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
They said,
“We want 2 disturb some good person.”
I suggest them your name.
They said,
“We cannot disturb our boss.”
What is 10 years with me?
Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.
Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.
Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second
Thought of the day:
Thought of the day:
“if u help a gal when she is in problem,
she will always remember u
only when she is in problem again..!!”
In this job we need someone who is responsible.
Employer: ?In this job we need someone who is responsible.?
Applicant: ?I?m the one you want.
On my last job, every time anything went wrong,
they said I was responsible.?
“I am beautiful”,
A very old lady teacher of English
ask this question with the class:
When I say “I am beautiful”, which tense is it?
One pupil answered: Its the past tense of course.
Wats d height of hope?
Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude,dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!”
143 means?
143 means?
Do u want to know
what it means?
Press Down..
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It means
ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE.
Tomorrow I will teach u 144.
U r crossing the limits;
Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lord, I said kaun ‘Sa Law’ kehta hai?
Flowers die
Flowers die,
Stories end,
Songs fade,
Memories are forgotten,
All things come 2 end,
But people like u r remembered forever,
Bcoz GHOSTS NEVER DIE
ME beside U;
1 day u’ll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U.
U & ME laughing,
U & ME crying,
U & ME dreaming,
U & ME holding on,
U & ME…
just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.
V
This is my head ….
This is my head ….
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Itni dair dabanay k liyay thanks.
I am feeling much better now:-)
Doing nothing?
Hi,
Doing nothing?
Then make a place,
4 Me in ur heart!!
I may come there any time!
Urs faithfully,
Heart Attack
Wife came home with a goat.
Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”
A sardar prays daily;
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
“Hey vaheguru meri lottery lagady.”
After 11 years VaheGuru angrily appeared
& said,”Khoti de putar 1 vari ticket te le ley”
Man standing on the scale,
Man standing on the scale,
holding his stomach in.
Wife:I do not think that is going to help.
Man:Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers?
We are surrounded!
Soldier:Sir, we are surrounded!
Major:Excellent!
We can attack in any direction now!
A man sees a fat man;
A man sees a fat man
sitting in a train cabin.
Taunting, he asks:
Is this cabin for elephants only!
Fat man humbly replies:
No!Even monkeys like you can sit!
Tooo much Salt.
Major Rohail:
Dude EGGS are extra salty today?
Tooo much Salt..why?
.
.
Waiter:
Sir hen is suffring from high blood
Pressure
A boy goes to see a dance.;
A boy goes to see a dance.
His mom angrily asks him:
Did u see anything there that
u were not supposed to see?
Boy: yes, I saw dad!
I love u;
Boy:I love u
Girl:Me too
Boy:Tum mujhe kitna pyar karti ho?
Girl:Jitna tum mujhe karte ho
Boy: U cheater..
main samjha tum waqai mujh se pyar karti ho?
Boy friend is fun,
Boy friend is fun,
&
Husband is gun,
Boy friend is light of moon,
&
Husband is month of june,
Boy friend is tooty fruity,
&
Husband is qismat phooti.
Wife wish 2 be a newspaper
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands allday.
Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.
A girl ask to moulvi! can i kiss a man?
A girl ask to moulvi! can i kiss a man?
moulvi says: astaghfirullah! astaghfirullah!
girl: can i kiss a boy?
moulvi: laahulawala quwata………
girl: can i kiss u?
moulvi: Bismillahh bismillah
Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga,
Jis waqt khuda ne tumhain banaya hoga,
ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga…
pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun..
phir ussay zoo ka khayal aaya hoga…
A scientist cannot b a president, but kalam did it.
A scientist cannot b a president,but kalam did it.
A conductor cannot b a superstar,but Rajini did it.
A monkey cannot operate mobile,
but u mere lal, mind blowing….. (u did it)
Us nay kaha kon ho Tum?
Us nay kaha kon ho Tum?
Main nay kaha Hasrat Tumari
Us nay kaha Taktey ho kya?
Main nay kaha Surat Tumhari
Us ne kaha kartey ho kya?
Main nay kaha Pooja Tumhari
Us nay kaha Kaafir ho kya?
Main nay kaha aisa hi sahi
Us nay kaha chatey ho kya?
Main nay kaha Mohabbat Tumhari
Us nay kaha Pachtaoge,
Main nay kaha KismatHamari
Us nay Kaha Married hoon mai.
Main nay kaha Sorry BAJI
Sardar on phone:
Sardar on phone:
Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking…
Aamir khan in lagaan
Who was d 1st indian cricktr 2 Bcum captain in his 1st mtch,score century in d same mtch &hit a 6 of d last ball 2 defeat england? AAMIR KHAN in LAGAAN
First class in B.Ed
A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents – Ruby First Class in Bed!
Aaj kuch ghabraaye se lagte ho,
Aaj kuch ghabraaye se lagte ho,
Thand se kuch kap-kapaaye se lagte ho,
Nikhar kar aayi hai soorat aapki,
BAHUT DINO KE BAAD NAHAAYE SE LAGTE HO..
Log ishq kartay hain baray shor kay sath
Log ishq kartay hain baray shor kay sath,
Humne bhi kia bare zor kay sath,
Lakin ab karain gay thoray ghor kay sath,
Kyunke kal usay dekha kisi aur kay sath.
Jab barish hoti hai
Jab barish hoti hai, Tum yaad aate ho.
Jab kali ghata chaye, Tum yaad ate ho,
Jab bheegte hain tum yaad aate ho,
Bataoo Meri umbrella Kab wapis kro ge!
A bull and a cow is grazing in the field
Teacher : Correct the sentence,
“A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”
Student : “A cow and a bull is grazing in the field”
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
Man : How old is your father?
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born
To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”
Ladies hostel caught Fire
Ladies hostel caught Fire
It took 1 hour to bring the Fire under control
& another 3 hrs 2 bring d Firemen
under control.
What happens when a lion roars thrice?
What happens when a lion roars thrice?
-
-
-
-
-
Think
-
-
-
-
-
Any guess?
-
-
-
-
-
Ok i will tell you..
-
-
-
-
-
Tom & jerry cartoon begins!
When u feel lonely and alone
When u feel lonely and alone
& cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i’ll take u to an eye specialist !!
Khuda ke Ghar say Kuch Gadhey farar hogaye
Khuda ke Ghar say Kuch Gadhey farar hogaye
kuch to pakray gayai
kuch hamare yaar hogaye
I say she’s no good!
Father: Your teacher says she finds it
Impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!
There’s a bomb in my garden!
Man: Officer! There’s a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don’t worry. If no one claims it
Within three days, you can keep it.
Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
Jab sey tumhain jana hai,
Jab sey tumhain jana hai,
jab sey tumhain paaya hai,
har dua mein tera naam aaya hai,
Ta k poochhu rab say
.
.
.
.
ki yeh kaisa namoona banaya hai
If Malika plays roll of Draupadi
If Malika plays roll of Draupadi,
Duryodhan will say pheli bhabhi ko sari to pehna,
hum to dekhen ye vastro mein kaisi lagti hai..?
Hey friend remember that without stupidity
Hey friend remember that
without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty
so the world needs YOU after all!
This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat
This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat,
keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,
20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!
Aisi apni wife ho
Aisi apni wife ho
aisi apni wife ho
5.5 jiski hight ho
jeans jiski tight ho
chehra jiska bright ho
waight main thori light ho
umer main diffrence slight ho
thori se woh quite ho
to mamorable her ek night ho
aisi apni wife ho
sarak per sub kaheen kia cute hey
bheer main sub kaheen pakistan ki paidaish h0
beauty multyply by twice ho
favorite color white ho
make up thora light ho
zulfain dynamite hoon
aankheen us ki jaisey sunny twilight ho
hoonton ko dekh ker lagey jaisey coke diet ho
jub sari pehan ker nikley to kia sight ho
aisa lagey jaisey swtizerland ki flight ho
aisi apni wife ho agar aisi apni wife ho tu kia haseen life ho..
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Don’t worry, I have a one more.
On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him
On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him,
“Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring?”
Sardar : “Ya sure, from landline or mobile”.
You will die within 2 hours
Doctor to sardar : You will die within 2 hours.
Do you want to see any one before you die?
Sardar : Yes. A good doctor.
Sardar was busy removing a wheel
Sardar was busy removing
a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are
you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for 2 wheeler
Sardar Joined a new job
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked “what you did till evening?”
Sardar :”Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright”
Kissing ur wife in ur home….
A man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
“He’s not my friend.”
A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl
A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: “STUPID what r u doing?”
Sardar: B.Com final year”
Someday you may lose your hair.
Someday you may lose your hair.
you may lose your teeth- oyur money & even lose your mind.
But 1 thing you will never loose is oyur good looks.
because you cant lose what you don’t have!
Promise me we are true friends
Promise me we are true friends
I am lamp you are light
I am Coke you are Sprite
I am Sawan you are badal
I am Normal you are Pagal
I am Water you are Tanki
I am Tarzan you are Monkey
Mental hospital is not so far
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
You should know what you are,
And once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.
Girls of 1995 & 2007
GIRLZ OF 1995*
“AGAR TUM MIL JAO ZAMANA CHOIR DENGE HUM”
GIRLZ OF 2007*
AGAR TUM MIL JAO PURANA CHOR DENGE HUM
Any boyfriend before marriage
Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent ……
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De….
Positive thinking is like
Positive thinking is like…..
U r standing on the middle of the road………
&
suddenly a crow beats on your head….
But you remain calm…
and thanks to God…
that cows dont fly:)
Chances of my recovering?
Patient : What are the chances
of my recovering doctor?
Doctor : One hundred percent.
Medical records show that
nine out of ten people die of the disease you have.
Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated.The others all died.
Which is important, sun or the moon?
Teacher : Which is more important to us,
the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night
when we need it but the sun gives us light
only in the day time when we dont need it.
A man went to hell
A man went to hell and asked
the Yamraj if he can call his wife.
yamraj said “u can do that”
after man spoke to his wife..
he asked how much to pay yamraj
yamraj said..”hell to hell is free”
Aisa mujhe bajuwali kehti hai
I always think about U.
I can’t live without U.
I really need U.
I’m totally mad about U.
I just wanna be with U.
I’m crazy 4 U.
I wanna marry U.
I LOVE U.
Aisa mujhe bajuwali kehti hai…
(My neighbour say all this to me)
What is the difference between monkey and donkey
What is the difference between
Monkey & Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message
&
Donkey deletes this message.
Choice is urs……..:
The human brain is most thing outstanding
The human brain is most outstanding thing…….
it functions 24hrs 365 days…..
it functions right from the time u r Born….
until you fall in love
I am the ninth letter
TEACHER: Kashif, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
Kashif: I is ……
TEACHER: No, Kashif. Always say, “I am.”
Kashif: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
True bravery is to arrive home
True bravery is to arrive home …
fully drunk..
a late night out..
and mom waiting with a jharu
in hand and you ask
“hey mom, abhi tak jaag rahi ho.”
Chand to tum ho hi,
Kash tumhare chere pe chicken-pox ke daag hote,
.
.
.
chand to tum ho hi,
sitaray bhi saath hote!!
1 boy went 2 meet his girlfriend
One boy went to meet his girlfriend
when he came back at home
mom asked
kahaan gaey they ?
boy:us se milney
mom: kis liye?
boy: haan bohat kiss liye:
Ghalib’s girl friend late on date
Ghalib ne girlfriend ko date per bulaya wo late aayi,
Girl: Am I late ?
Ghalib:
Falak pey chand sitaron ko neend aarahi hai,
Doosri ka time ho gaya hai, tu ab aa rahi hai.
Dil k zakham kisi ko dikha na sako ge
Dil k zakham kisi ko dikha na sako ge,
Dil mein jo he kisi ko bata na sako ge,
Karoo ge jawani me jo girlfriend pe kharche,
Budhape tak udhar chuka na sako gay:p
Hum ho gaye tumhare tumhe sochne k bad
Hum ho gaye tumhare tumhe sochne k bad,
Ab na daikhen gay kisi ko tumhe daikhne k bad,
Dunya chor dain gai tumhai chorne k bad,
KHUDA! Maaf kare itne jhut bolne k bad
1 machar 1 chinese aur aik memon
Train main 1 machar 1 chinese k sar pe baitha,
woh usko pakar k kha gaya!
Phir 1 machar memon pe baitha,
us ne pakar k chinese say pocha:
.
.
.
.
.
Khareedo gay?:
Teri girl friend gaye bazar
twinkle Twinkle little star,
teri girl friend gaye bazar,
us ko mil gaya MAJNO ka pyar,
ab tu beth ker makhiyan maaar
1 ladki k saath ghoomay to
Sometimes wen i cry no 1 c my tears,
wen i m woried no 1 c my pain,
wen i m happy no 1 c my smile
lekin…
sala. 1 ladki k saath ghoomay
to sab dekh lete hai..
What is a adult joke?
Sardarji was asked,
what is a adult joke?
Reply came
any joke which is eighteen years old.
Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua
Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.
Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.
Importance of thumb…
Importance of thumb…
Children use it 4 chewing
Illiterate people use it 4 sign
Winners 4 victory
.
.
AND
.
.
My FANS use it 4 reading my messages
.
.
.
.
.
Oh….u toooo?
Girl: if u will try 2 kiss me, main shore macha dungi
Girl: if u will try 2 kiss me, main shore macha dungi.
Boy:Lekin yahan to dur tak koi nahi hai.
Girl: i know but formality to poori karni hi padegi..
Husband aur wife in hotel
Husband aur Wife Hotel
me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha,”Koun Thi Wo?”
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.
Do u want to hear a dirty joke
Do u want to hear a dirty joke?
.
.
.
Are you sure?
.
.
.
Ok, here you go…
.
.
.
A white horse fell in the mud
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