Old man was waiting for a train,
Once an old man was waiting for a train, sitting on a bench.
A young boy came to him and asked the time.
Old man refused to tell the time.
Boy insisted again & again but old man denied again & again.
Boy asked the reason?
Old man said if i tell you the time,
then you will ask about me,my name,job etc.
Then i will ask about you,both of us will be frank.
By chance you may get the seat with me.
Then you may get down at my station.
My daughter will come to receive me.
She will meet you. She is beautiful.
You may fall in love with her,she too.
Then she may insist to marry u, even may threaten me.
And i am sorry that
I dont want such a poor son in law
who hasn’t his own watch to see the time.
A baby mosquito,,
A baby mosquito came back after its 1st fight.
.
.
.
Dad asked: “how did u feel?”
.
.
.
It replied: “Dad it was wonderful. evry1 ws clappin 4 me”
Moral: Take evrything positively
Sleeping together,
Boy1:Meet my wife Tina
Boy2.Oh! I know her
Boy1:How?
Boy2:v were caught sleeping together
Boy1:What the hell?
Boy2.during lecture in maths class
Think +ve:)
HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle,
HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle
If 1 punctures, the vehicle can’t move further
M0ral:
always Keep a SPARE TYRE….
Worlds shortest jokes:
Worlds shortest jokes:
1) 2 Women r sitting quiet.
2) 2 Sardars r playing chess.
3) GirlFriend pays the bill…!!!
Need more???
U r beautiful.:-
Different between problem and challenge?
TEACHER:
what is the different between
problem and challenge????
STUDENT:3boys+1girl=problem
1boy+3girls=challenge..
U r…A B C D E F G H I J K L..,
u r…
A B C D E F G H I J K L
A=Aachhe
B=Briliant
C=Cool
D=Dashing
E=Emotional
F=Fantastic
G=Great
H=Hot
I=Intelligent
&
JKL=Joke Kaisa Laga.
Cricket is getting excited day by day,,
Cricket is getting excited day by day with the introduction of ICL n T20…
Same rules should be applied in Examz!
(1) Exams Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour.
(2) Power Play – No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins.
(3) Cheer Leaders – To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.
(4) Strategic Time-Out – Time For Students For Discussion.
(5) Super Over – Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question
b/w secretary & private secretary?
Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary?
Ans:
Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
&
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR
Lost wife in a festival.
2 men were searching for their lost wife in a festival.
Banta: What does your wife look like?
Santa: She is 5'7?, 36-24-36 sexy figure,
fair, sweet, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair, and yours?
Banta: Forget mine, let us look for yours.
Life is nothing without LOVE,
Life is nothing without LOVE,
Love is emotion & Kiss is practical,
don’t get emotional, yar just b practical
So STOP loving and START Kissing
5 points that prove you are a normal student,
5 points that prove you are a normal student
1:unnecessary talk on phone and messages
2:Plan each day to study but end of the day KAL SAY PAKA
3:you have all the data but you work before the dead line
4:right now you are thinking of forwarding this message to your friends
5:on each point you smile because it’s true.
Every morning,
When I open my eyes every morning
I pray to God that everyone should
have a friend like you….
Why should only i suffer!!! ha ha ha.
Will U marry ,
Sardar: Will U marry , after I die.
Wife : No I will live with my sister.
Wife : Will U marry , after I die.
Sardar: No I will also live with ur sister.
Future plans of childrens:
Future plans of childrens:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Adnan: I want 2 b a pilot.
Wakeel: I want 2 b a doctor.
Bina: I want 2 b a good mother.
Shariq : I want 2 help Bina.
Telling his neighboR,
A man was telling his neighbor,
?I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars,
but it?s state of the art. It?s perfect.?
?Really,? answered the neighbor .
?What kind is it??
MAN:?Twelve thirty.?
Think about U.
I always think about U.
I can’t live without U.
I really need U.
I’m totally mad about U.
I just wanna be with U.
I’m very desperate for U.
I’m crazy 4 U.
I wanna marry U.
I LOVE U.
That’s all what my mama say to me:
R u emotionally dumbed;
If:-
R u emotionally dumbed
Creatively challenged?
Artistically void?
Socially hopeless?
And financially desperate?
you are a PAKISTANI!
Congrats you are a
PAKISTANI!
Choose four
Select three
Love two
And
Marry one
On Ur Single Smile Thousands People Die So
Keep Smiling n
Reduce Population Of PAKISTAN
But.
Never Smile In Front Of Da Mirror
Warna
Lene K Dene Par Jayen Gay.
Aik Pagal;
Aik Pagal: “Mujhe Katrina ne shadi k lye haan bol di hai”
Doosra: “Dikha di na usne apni auqat.
Main bhi itni asani se tallaaq nahi dunga.
A girl’s speaking 2 a boy…
a girl’s speaking 2 a boy……..
u r very handsome.
u r very cute.
u r very sweet.
ooph…….sorry.
i can’t call u sweet….
because ants will finish u.
Hitler commited suicide;
Teacher : U failure !
At ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir,
but at ur age hitler commited suicide.
*Love b4 Marriage*
*Love b4 Marriage*
Janu…tum nahe to mei nahe,
mei nahe to tum nahe…
*Love after Marriage*
“baghairta”…Aj tu nahe ya me nahe
U are a BITCH.
Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Cute
Hilarious
r u smiling now?
?
?
?
*YOU ARE REALLY BITCH*
UNIVERSAL TRUTH :
UNIVERSAL TRUTH :
When girls wear tight fittings,
Neither they are
Comfortable
Nor
Boys are comfortable…. !!
In our life time;
In our life time
6 things can come at any time:
1.love
2.friendship
3.money
4.death
5.illness
-
-
-
6.susu: isliye karke sona .
GOD’s First Reaction;
What was GOD’s First Reaction
when he made a Negro(African)?
Socho…
Dont know..
Oh! shit jal gaya!!
Name of your car ;
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
An Aeroplane asks a Rocket;
An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your back!
love cards?
Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card,
it says,”To the only boy I ever loved!”
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them
Y do couples hold hands;
Y do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It’s a formality just like two boxers
shaking hands before the fight begins!
Rat purpose a cat…
How will a rat purpose a cat…??
?
..??
?
“Billo Rani Kaho Tou Abhi Jaan De Doon..
O Billo Rani..!!;-)
When sum1 touches u;
when sum1 touches u
&
u don’t feel it,
its IGNORANCE.
When sum1 touches u
&
u feel it, its LOVE.
but when nobody touches
u but u feel it, then its KHUJLI;-)
Wife Running After A Garbage;
Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Positive thinking poem:
Positive-thinking poem:
Little bird in the sky
Droping shit into ur eye
U don’t worry u don’t cry,
U just thank God that,
Cows do not fly
Always b positive...
Moral of the movie Ghajini…
Whenever going to meet your girlfriend
Make sure u have your cell phone..
n
when u r in deep trouble
keep your cell phone silent…
Can u dance?
Can u dance?
?
?
?
No!
.
.
.
Sure
.
.
.
Just try it
.
.
.
Sure u cant
.
.
.
That means u r pappu!!!
.
.
.
Because pappu cant dance ..
2010 is coming;
Wish u a very
Happy new year
Valentine’s day
Basant
23rd march
14 august
Eid ul fitr
Eid ul azha
Friendship day
Mother, father
Dadi, dada
Nana, nani
Children’s day
Happy b’day
365 good mornings
After noons, evenings’
& nights
Roz roz ka drama nahi
Hota mujh se
Ab pura saal mat kehna
SMS nahi kia
Differentiate“WIFE” & “MOTHER”
Teacher: How Do You Differentiate
“WIFE” & “MOTHER”
SARDAR:
Before Marriage We Sleep With “MOTHER”
&
After Marriage
We Sleep With Our “WIFE”
Sumeone Kills AMIR’S GF;
Sumeone Kills AMIR’S GF
& He Loses His Memory.
Than He Tries To Find out D Killer.
Suspense:AMIR Himself Is D Killer.
Now Enjoy Watchng GHAJINI
I MISS YOU”
Teacher: what is meant by
“I MISS YOU”
.
.
.
.
Pathan: Is ka matlab hai
“Mein tumhari miss hon!”
When a girl falls down;
When a girl falls down
She is helped by so
Many people
But
When a boy falls down
Everybody laughs
When a girl licks
Her lips
She is thirsty
When boy licks
His lips
He is tharki
When a girl smiles
She is considered cute
When a boy smiles
He is flirt
Still people say
This is men’s world..
Why r u arrested;
Judge: why r u arrested?
Sardar: for shopping early?
Judge: well, that’s not a crime,
anyway how early were u shopping?
Sardar: before opening the shop…..:
I saw a dream;
Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill..
Life while doing m.b.b.s;
Life while doing m.b.b.s
1sr yr: yahoo i’m in Medical college
2nd yr: kahan phans Gaya? Help me
3rd yd: severe Migraine, sometimes Pagalpan bhi
4th yr: aah soon it’ll b over
5th yr: finaly it’ll b over.
House job;
House job: i did it
Job : i love myself
W8 a min !
Something is missing
.
.
.
.
Ohhh !!! Meri “jawani”:(
Call me'
If u have 1 father, call me.
If u have 2 fathers, sms me.
If u have 3 fathers, miss call me.
If i m your father, just ignore this message.
Commerce professor asks the student:
Commerce professor asks the student:
what is the most important source
of finance for starting business?
Student: “Father in law”.
Give up my seat to a lady.;
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus
with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.
I just feel u….;
I just feel u….
Whenever I feel u….
I just miss u …..
Whenever i miss u ….
I just wanna See u ….
Do u know why…….
It’s juts because …………
******I LOVE CARTOONS*******
A Solid reason;
A Solid reason for having 2 girlfriends at one time:
Monopoly is always damaging
&
Competition improves service!
Send me SMS on these time
Morning
6am To 12pm
Noon
12pm To 4pm
Evening
4pm To 8pm
Night
8pm To 6am
Baki Time Tang Mat Karna
Kam Karna Hota Hai..
You witch’s child?
Who let you get on the horse
You witch’s child?
.
.
.
.
Can’t understand?
.
.
.
.
.
Tenu ghori kinnay charhaya bhootni k…:
Great Calculation:
Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
So what do the rest have?
.
.
.
.
.
They have girl friends.
A love letter from biscuit maker;
A love letter from biscuit maker:
Dear marie, today is good day,
u r anmol for me…
but u have crack jacked my heart,
bcoz i have a little heart,
now i m in 50/50 position…
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