3 Movie tickets
Husband: Today is sunday &
I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why three?
Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents.
Us ki shadi ki biryani kha baithay
Hoslay saray azma baithay,
Hum zamanay k ghum utha baithay,
Jis ki chahat main umer bhar tarpay,
Us ki shadi ki biryani kha baithay:)
Lecture on Sun
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far !!
A person who keeps on talking…
Teacher : What do you call a person
who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.
Phol barsao mera dost aya hai
Baharo phool barsao mera “DOST”aya hai.
Hoto pe muskan, gali me mehak laya hai.
Barso tak thi jise pani se “ELERGY”
Woh aaj “LUX” se nahaya hai.
Cant lie till Z
A : u r Active
B : u r Best
C : u r Cute
D : u r my Dearest
E : u r Excelant
F : u r alwayz First
G : u r Great
Sorry cant lie till Z…
Difference between wife & saali
What is the difference between wife & saali?
Saali is Beauty,
Wife is duy,
Saali is passion,
Wife is tension,
Saali is patakha,
Wife is sayapa,
Saali is cool,
Wife is fool,
Saali is tuty-fruity,
Wife is qismat futi,
Saali is fresh cake,
Wife is earth quake…:
itni khushi bardasht nahin ker sakta
Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.
Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:-because main itni khushi
bardasht nahin ker sakta:
AQAL HO NA HO
Yash Johar is producing a new film
& is searching 4 new talent.
I’ve suggested ur name.
Pls go & meet him.
The movie’s name is “AQAL HO NA HO”
How do u spell crocodile
TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell “crocodile”?
JOHNY: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHNY: Maybe it’s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Kal raat machar ne kata mere chehre par
kal raat machar ne kata mere chehre par,
dil mien junoon tha…aankhoon mien khoon tha,
uthaya ussay masal dene k liye par khayal aya,
kambakht mien bhi akhir apna hi khoon tha
Rooz khawab mein nazar aatey ho tum
rooz khawab mein nazar aatey ho tum
kio mujhey neend mein bi daratay ho tum
Tujh bin zindagi ka tasawar hi nahi hai
Tujh bin zindagi ka tasawar hi nahi hai ,
Tere sang ho zindagi aisa bhi koi scene nahi hai,
Iss dunya mein, tum he sab say haseen ho
mein aur kahon jhot kitna, ke tum ko yaqeen ho
Neend mujhey raat bhar aati hai kam
Neend mujhey raat bhar aati hai kam ,
Shayad macharon ko bi mil gaya hai sanam
Wife: Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience
Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.
Only true friends stand by u
Only true friends stand by u
during bad times.
I promise
I will attend ur wedding.
When u feel sad….
When u feel sad….
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
“damn I am really so cute”
u will overcome your sadness.
But don’t make this a habit…..
Coz liars go to hell !!!!
The brain is a wonderful organ
The brain is a wonderful organ.
It starts working the moment you get
up and does not stop until u get into the office…
I Can SEE ‘TEA’ in A TEA-CUP
I Can SEE ‘TEA’ in A TEA-CUP
Can you SEE the WORLD in WORLD-CUP?
I can SING on Any STAGE
Can you SING in COMA-STAGE?
I can FIX my PASSPORT Size PHOTO in My PASSPORT
Can you FIX Your STAMP Size PHOTO in a STAMP?
I Can SEND My ADDRESS to Your MOBILE
Can You SEND Your MOBILE to my ADDRESS?
TRY ALL THIS…….. ….
Atleast DO the LAST ONE.
Doctor suggested full body Xray
Sardar said to doctor:Pore jism main
kahin bhi ungli lagao to bohat dard hota hai,
Doctor suggested full body Xray
when he checked, Xray found fracture in “Ungli”
Never kiss a police woman
Never kiss a police woman.
she ‘ll say stop and handsup.
Never kiss a nurse she
will say next plz. Always kiss a teacher.
She ‘ll repeat it 10 times.
1 bhoot dosray ko samjha raha tha
Khofnaak andheri raat k sannatay main
ek bhoot dosray bhoot ko samjhra raha tha:
bhai ghabra mat, ye sub tere dimagh ka waham hai,
pathan wathan kuch nahin hote.
Life is like a MOVIE…
Life is like a MOVIE…
If u r sad – DRAMA
If u r afraid – SUSPENSE
If u r angry – ACTION
When u look at the mirror – HORROR
Who‘s dear & near friend…
Who‘s hot… Its U,
Who‘s
Charming… Its U,
Who‘s
Sweetest.. Its U,
Who‘s
Intelligent… Its U,
Who‘s dear & near friend… Its U
Who‘s a liar.. Its me
Jayengay car main, aayengay akhbar main
Once a husband and wife
were preparing to go office
and the wife thought
she would drive today for the office.
Wife : Chalo na car me kahin ghumne
chalte hai, aur car me drive karungi!
Huband : “Agar tum car drive karogi to
jayenge car mein, aayenge akhbaar mein”!!
A pakistani man goes for fishing
A pakistani man goes for fishing, catches a big fish.
Comes home and askks his wife to cookthe fish.
Wife says she can’t as there is no gas, no electricity,
no atta(floor) and no cooking oil to fry it in.
Man goes and puts the fish back in the river.
Fish comes up to the surface and shouts
“Pakistan Zindabad”
Don’t kill the students
A student was asked 2 write
a signboard 4 the traffic rules
near da college campus
He wrote:-
“Drive Carefully!
Don’t kill the students,
wait for the Teachers”
Before and after marriage
Before Marriage:-
He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
He:ofcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She:can I trust u?
He:yes..
She: Darling!
After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top
Man needs a poison
Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that
Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.
50% of sardars are not donkeys
Newspaper Mein News Lugi K
“50% Of Sardars Are Donkeys”
The Sardars Protested.
Next Day News Lagi K
“50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys”
The Sardars Celebrated.
In pakistan survey was done
In pakistan survey was done:
How many girls want to meet with Saquib
Survey repot
5% says yes
0% says no
95% says kuhawab maat dikhao
Humari aise kismat kaha
Karti hain itna makeup k weight barh jata hay
Bachiyon k chakker me larke jate lutt,
Or khatey hain un k bhaiyon se wo kutt…
iss waja se larke larkiyon ko chor detay hain,
Moqa mil tey hi un k bhaiyon ko phor dete hain..
Na kare makeup to un se banda dar jata hay,
Karti hain itna makeup k weight barh jata hay.
Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.
Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did’nt u ecchanged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody
2 exchange in the lower birth..
Imagine world without girls
Imagine world without girls
roads sunsan markets viran
na janu na jan
na koi girl friend k liye preshan
bas namaz & quran
&
sarey larke direct jannat ul maqam
Wife is like a medicine Bas Ek hi kaafi hai
Friends Are like “Priya Gold Biscuit” Haq Se maango
Girl Friends are like Pepsi Yeh Dil Maange More
Wife is like a medicine Bas Ek hi kaafi hai
1 Pathan Bap Ki Death Par Bohat Roya
1 Pathan Bap Ki Death Par Bohat Roya
Phir Uski Behan Ka phone Aya,
Pathan Or B ziada Rone Laga.
Logon Ne Pucha,kya hua?
Pathan: Meri Bahan K Abu Ka B Intiqal Ho Gya
Dil main he mere Dard-e-bhutto
Dil main he mere Dard-e-bhutto
“Dard-e-bhutto”
“Dard-e-bhutto”
Wo hasina wo nilam pari,,
hui thi wo election main khari,,
na jane kahan se goli chal pari,,
hamare lia ho gayi mushkil khari,,
Dil main hay mere
“”Dard-e-Bhutto”"
“”Dard-e-Bhutto”"
ha koi muqabla karne wala
Hahaha, I am joking
A
B
C
D
A-AATRACTIVE
B-BEST
C-CUTE
D-DEAR 2 ME
E
F
G
E-EXCELENT
F-funny
G-GOOD LOOKING
H
I
J
H- HA HA HA
I- I M
J- JOKING
Phulo ki mahak ko churaya nahi jata
Rule of boys:
“Phulo ki mahak ko churaya nahi jata,
suraj ki kirno ko chupaya nahi jata,
kitni bhi soni ho girlfrnd apni,
dusro ki girlfrnd ko bhulaya nahi jata..
A pathan said to his friend
A pathan said to his friend:
“mujhy smajh nahi aati k log
maheena maheena kaisy nhi nahatay?
Mujhy to 28vein din kharish hona shuru ho jati hai”.
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?
What? is a difference between
a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?
A kiss is so dear,?
A car is too dear and
A monkey is U dear.
You are seeing my wife
Sardarji & his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted miror.
Sardarji shouted you are seeing my wife.
Go & sit back. I will drive auto…:D
Just think about me
Think Big.
Think Positive.
Think Smart.
Think Beautiful.
Think Great.
I know, that is too much for u,
so here is a shortcut.
JUST THINK ABOUT ME!
A Memon on his death time
A Memon on his death time.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, I’m here
My sons & daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa
Memon:To phir brabar wale kamre
ka pankha Q khula hay ??? :
New style of proposing a girl
New style of proposing a girl:
I have spent many sleepless nights in ur love,
&
I don’t want my son to do the same 4 your daughter,
So lets make them brother & sister
Better think before you smile.
1 smile = 1 friendship
1 friendship = 1 love
1 love = 1 proposal
1 proposal = 1 marriage
And 1 marriage = THOUSANDS of problem.
so better think before you smile.
Roses r red .. violts r blue
Roses r red,
violets r blue,
monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
Dont get angry,
you will find me there too,
not in the cage but laughing at you.
Could u fax me ur photo
Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ?
Mind u – it’s really very very urgent,
damn serious and very imp ….
I’m playing cards and
we’ve misplaced the JOKER.
Roses r lal skies r nila
Roses r lal
skies r nila,
ur brain is like khali patila.
Bura man liya?
O.K
Roses r red
skies r blue,
I born smart
what d hell hapened to u.
Thora sa or bura manlo :
People like YOU always remain forever…..
Beautiful flowers die….
Nice stories end……
Lovely songs fade…….. ..
Momeries are forgotten… ..
All things comes to end…..
But people like YOU always remain forever
.
.
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.
.
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.
.
.
BECAUSE GHOSTS NEVER DIE
Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE ?
Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE:-
C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally……
Thats why boys go to college
I was a fool when I married you.
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didnt notice.
A man found his wife having affair with a guy.
A man found his wife having affair with a guy.
He decided 2 kill himself & his wife.
Apne kaan pe pistol lagai aur bola-
tu khush mat ho agla number tera hai!
The latest slogn of boys
The latest slogn of boys:
Pakistan is our nation
Girls are our Destination
Dating is Our Occupation
Flirting is our Profession
Leave about Education
if sumone calls u crazy
if sumone calls u crazy,dont mind,
if sumone calls u duffer,relax,
if sumone calls u stupid be cool,
but if sumone calls u “cute”
.
.
.
.
lagana thappar os pagal ke monh pe,
mazak ki b koi hud hoti hai
Monkey can read SMS in my country
American:-Dogs can find Bombs in my country.
Japanese:-Fish can play Ball in my country.
Pakistani:-Thats not a matter,Monkey can read SMS in my country…
What is the difference between Monkey & Donkey ?
What is the difference between Monkey & Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message &
Donkey deletes this message.
Choice is yours
All flowers are sweet but
Rose
Lotus
Tulip
Orchid
Sunflower
Jasmin
Lilly
All flowers r sweet but they have no comparison with u,
Kyun K
Gobhi K phool ki baat hi alag hai.
A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house
A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…
still he was in jail…….why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !
Gangster’s son failed his examination
Q: What did the gangster’s son
tell his dad when he failed his examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours
but I never told them anything.”
Ticket checker to a saint
In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don’t have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram’s birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna’a birth place, Jail.
Similarity between Dinosaurs and decent girls
Do u know similarity
between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
?
?
?
?
Both don’t exist.
Dil ka dard dil torrne waley kiya jaaney
Dil ka dard dil torrne waley kiya jaaney,
Pyar ke rivajon ko zamana kiya jaaney,
Hoti hai kitni takleef larrki ko pataney main,
Ye ghar pe baitha larki ka baap kiya jaaney
Hai tu agar mera dilbar
Hai tu agar mera dilbar,
Hai tu agar mera dilbar,
To aaj ke lunch ka bill tu bhar
Mere dost tanhai me na waqt bitaya karo
Mere dost tanhai me na waqt bitaya karo,
Kabhi kabhi mehfilon me bhi aaya karo,
Kiya hua jo toot gaye hen samney k 4 dant,
Phir bhi moun khol ker muskuraya karo..
Hum chat par charhe patang urane ke bahane
Hum chat par charhe patang urane ke bahane,
Wo bhi chat par aayi kapde sukhane ke bahane,
Uske mummy ne jo dekha ye haseen nazara,
Jhadu le aayi wo bandar bhagane ke bahane.
Terrorist hijacked 747 lawyers.
Q: Hear about the terrorist
that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one
every hour if his demands weren’t met.
Why do girls close their eyes while kissing a guy?
Question : Why do girls close
their eyes while kissing a guy?
Guess…
Guess
.
.
.
Answer : Yeh ladkiyan ladkon
ko kabhi khush nahi dekh sakti.
How he got into the house
A man went to the Police Station wishing
to speak with the burglar who had
broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Police officer.
“No, no no!” said the man.
“I want to know how he got into the house
without waking my wife. I’ve been trying for years.”
143 means?
143 means?
Do u want to know
what it means?
Press Down..
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It means
ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE.
Tomorrow I will teach u 144.
U r crossing the limits.
Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lord, I said kaun ‘Sa Law’ kehta hai?
Memories are forgotten
Flowers die,
Stories end,
Songs fade,
Memories are forgotten,
All things come 2 end,
But people like u r remembered forever,
Bcoz GHOSTS NEVER DIE
1 day u’ll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U.
1 day u’ll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U.
U & ME laughing,
U & ME crying,
U & ME dreaming,
U & ME holding on,
U & ME…
just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.
This is my head ….
This is my head ….
.
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.
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Itni dair dabanay k liyay thanks.
I am feeling much better now:-)
may come there any time!
Hi,
Doing nothing?
Then make a place,
4 Me in ur heart!!
I may come there any time!
Urs faithfully,
Heart Attack
Wife came home with a goat.
Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
“Hey vaheguru meri lottery lagady.”
After 11 years VaheGuru angrily appeared
& said,”Khoti de putar 1 vari ticket te le ley”
Man standing on the scale,
Man standing on the scale,
holding his stomach in.
Wife:I do not think that is going to help.
Man:Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers?
Soldier:Sir, we are surrounded!
Soldier:Sir, we are surrounded!
Major:Excellent!
We can attack in any direction now!
A man sees a fat man sitting in a train cabin.
A man sees a fat man
sitting in a train cabin.
Taunting, he asks:
Is this cabin for elephants only!
Fat man humbly replies:
No!Even monkeys like you can sit!
EGGS are extra salty today
Major Rohail:
Dude EGGS are extra salty today?
Tooo much Salt..why?
.
.
Waiter:
Sir hen is suffring from high blood
Pressure
A boy goes to see a dance.
A boy goes to see a dance.
His mom angrily asks him:
Did u see anything there that
u were not supposed to see?
Boy: yes, I saw dad!
Tum mujhe kitna pyar karti ho
Boy:I love u
Girl:Me too
Boy:Tum mujhe kitna pyar karti ho?
Girl:Jitna tum mujhe karte ho
Boy: U cheater..
main samjha tum waqai mujh se pyar karti ho?
Boy friend is fun, &Husband is gun,
Boy friend is fun,
&
Husband is gun,
Boy friend is light of moon,
&
Husband is month of june,
Boy friend is tooty fruity,
&
Husband is qismat phooti.
Lovers sitting in a park,
Lovers sitting in a park,
boy tries to kiss the girl..
Girl says No dear not all this before marriage..
Boy: Don?t worry darling ?I am already married?.:p
what is skeleton?
Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
Once there was a mirror which used to kill “LIERS”
Once there was a mirror which used to kill “LIERS”
FRENCH:I think I don’t smoke (killed)
AMERICAN:I think, I love Iraq(killed)
PATHAN:I think (killed)
Impact of Movies:
Impact of Movies:
Teacher :- Who is Mahatma Gandhi?
Student:- He is the one who helped
Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend!
why did u shoot ur wife
Judge:why did u shoot ur wife
instead of shootingher lover?
Sardar:Your honour,
it’s easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.
In bio practical:
In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it’s legs only?
Sardar:I don’t know.
Examiner:You failed, what’s your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my nam
1st ever intelligent sardar.
Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?
sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything:-)
Bachon wada kro cigrett shrab nahi pioge.
Teacher. Bachon wada kro cigrett shrab nahi pioge.
bachey:nahi pienge.
Teacher:larkio ka pecha nahi karoge
bachey:nahi karnge
Teacher:un pr awazen nahi kaso ge.
bachey: nahi kasenge.
Teacher: apni zindagi watan pr qurban karoge.
bachey: karenge,asi zindgi ka karna bhi kia he.
Devils went to Court to Prove
Devils went to Court to Prove
that he is The Most,
Cruel & wicked Guy on Earth.
But he Failed, He Came Out Angrily & Asked,
Yaar ye “ALTAF BHAI” kon hai?
What is BUSINESS ?
Dad: I want u 2 marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate’s daughter.
Son: then Ok.
Dad goes o Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Than ok
Dad goes 2 the President of the World Bank.
Dad:Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President:No
Dad:He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then OK
That’s business…!!
God:Give me a pocket full of money,
Boy 2 God:
Give me a pocket full of money,
A job & a big vehicle full of girls.
God replied:your wish is fullfilled
&
He became a bus conductor of karachi university point.:p
Man1 sitting with dog.
Man1 sitting with dog.
Man2:Your dog bits?
Man1:No
Man 2 sits and the dog bits!
Man2 angrily, you said he does not bit!
Man:That is not my dog.
A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.
Waiter: Oh! you can’t get it
because he is the owner of restaurant.
Human brain is the mos
Human brain is the most
outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall.
Why were males created before females?
Why were males created before females?
Because you alwas need
a rough draft before the final copy.
A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
NOW OPEN YOUR
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Books And Study
A lawyer saw an auto accident on street.
A lawyer saw an auto accident on street.
He rushed over and started handing out
business cards saying:
I saw the whole thing..
I will take either side.
A sardarji’s boy asked his dad:
A sardarji’s boy asked his dad:
What is a grownup joke?
Sardar ji replied:
any joke which is eighteen years old
The devils challenged
The devils challenged
the angels to a game of cricket.
We have got all the cricketers, said the Angels.
Devils:No problem,
we have got all the umpires.
I will give you Rs.25 an hour starting today
Boss:I will give you Rs.25 an hour starting today
and in 3 months, I will raise it to Rs.50 an hour.
When do you want to start?
New employee:In 3 months.v
Kion har bar mosam ki tarah badal jate ho,
Kion har bar mosam ki tarah badal jate ho,
Har bar hamara dil dukhatay ho,
Yeh bat sun ker hamari roh tak kanp gaye,
Ae dost tum masjidon se chapal or jote churate ho
Meri zindagi per faqat itna ehsan ker do
Meri zindagi per faqat itna ehsan ker do,
Ik benam si mohabbat mere naam kerdo,
Ik subha ko milo aur shaam kerdo,
Aur sham tak mere ghar ka sara kam kerdo,
2 men went 2 a callgirl.
2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”
if your father earned $100,000
Teacher: Johny,
if your father earned $100,000
and gave half of it to your mother,
what would she have?
Little johny: A heart a attack!
How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1.Janu
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 1.O bunty k pappa
Yr 1.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 1.Tum aate ho k main aaon?
Sardar to doctor:
Sardar to doctor:
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.
Dr:No problem,
just take this medicine b4 sleep.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga aaj final hai.
Before marriage:
Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…
After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don’t come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,
Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:
1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I’m not a mango man
2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits
3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also
4.do ro do chaar.
give and give four.
5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
I belong 2 green pur thousanda:)
A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage.
A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage.
He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa?
Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?
sardar:3 months.
Wife: or meri shadi ko ?
Sardar: 3 months
Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad?
Sardar:3 month.
Wife: total kitne hue?
Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing
Balle Balle;->
If dentists make films,?the names will be -
If dentists make films,?the names will be -
*Daant ho na ho
*Jaanam brush karo
*Aa ab clean karen
*Kabhi teeth kabhi gum
*Humara daant aapke paas hai!:-)
The check which u gave me has returned back
Doc 2 Patient :
The check which u gave me has returned back.
Patient 2 Doc:The head-ache for which
you gave me medicine has also returned back.
Lab pe ati hai Dua ban k tamanna meri,
Dil karta he band krwa doon sim tere,
Dor duniya ka tere DAM se ujala hojaye,
Jo mjhe sms na kare Uska range kala HOjaye….
A Smile costs less than Electricity
A Smile costs less than Electricity.
But…..
Gives more light !!
So Always Keep Smiling….. &
Prove that u’re the Best TubeLight !!
Qualities a friend must have:
Qualities a friend must have:
Cute as crocodile.
Smart as donkey.
Active as turtle.
Fit as hippo.
Matured as monkey.
Sincerity like dog.
No doubt you are my good friend
2day i have not sent Sms 2 anybody Except U.
2day i have not sent Sms 2 anybody Except U.
2day i have not thought about anybody Except U.
Because my policy is?
one day one fool…..!
How much is that banana for?
Customer : How much is that banana for?
Salesperson : Rs.10
Customer : Can you sell it to me for Rs.6?
Salesperson : At that rate, you will only get the banana peel!
Customer : Okay I will buy the banana for Rs.4 , but you can keep the peel!
Jab se begum ne mujhe murgha bana rakha hai,
Jab se begum ne mujhe murgha bana rakha hai,
Main ne nazron ki tarhan sir bhi jhuka rakha hai,
Bartano aaj mere sir pe baraste kion ho ?
Mein ne dho dha k tumhain kitna saja rakha hai,
Roz leti he talashi wo police ki manind,
Pochti he kahan paison ko chupa rakha hai,
Wahi duniya main muqaddar ka sikandar tehra,
Jis ne khud ko yahan shadi se bacha rakha hai,
Pi ja is maar ki talkhi ko bhi has k shohar,
Mar khane mein bhi qudrat ne maza rakha hai..
Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many
Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many
coins I have in my pocket?
Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1?
Sardar:Oji, I will give both of them
Sardarji to others:
Sardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I did
Sardar: Well, it’s your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!
A boy came running in the kitchen,
A boy came running in the kitchen,
Boy:Dad, There is an ugly monster at the door
Dad(Looking at his wife):
Tell him we have already got one!
Teri yaad dil se jane nahi denge,
Teri yaad dil se jane nahi denge,
Tere jesa dost khone bhi nahi denge,
Sharafat se roz SMS kia karo warna,
Ek kaan k niche denge or rone bhi nahie denge
Sardar darvaze pe GUN liye khara tha
Sardar darvaze pe GUN liye khara tha
Wife: y r u standing here?
Sardar: Sher k shikar pe ja raha hon
Wife: To jao na..!
Sardar: Kase jaon baher KUTTA khara hai
kehdo un parhne walon se,
kehdo un parhne walon se,
Kabhi hum bhi parha kertay thay,
Jitna syllabus parh k wo top kertay hain,
Utna to hum choice per chor dia kertay thay,
Dil diya tha MOHABBT ki nishani samajh kar,
Dil diya tha MOHABBT ki nishani samajh kar,
Wo kha gaya use BIRYANI samajh kar.
Khoon-e-jiger B na chora zalim ne,
Wo B pi gaya LIMON PANI samajh kar.
Haqiqat samjho ya afsana,
Haqiqat samjho ya afsana,
Apna samjho ya baigana,
Hamara aapka rishta he purana,
Is liye farz tha aap ko batana,
kay garmiyan aa gayi hain,
Ab shuru ker do roz nahana!
jao nahao (,?. *,?.)
A man was dying of cancer
A man was dying of cancer.
His son asked him:
dad why do you keep on telling
everyone that your dying of AIDS.
He replied:
“So that when i die no 1 will touch ur mom
Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl
Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.
Sardar selected a short girl to marry
Sardar selected a short girl to marry.
Why?
Because guru ji told him
Musibat jitni choti ho utna acha hai …:-P
Repeat these lines at least 2 hours
Repeat these lines at least 2 hours
everyday after Namaz outside the mosque
& u will b a millionare within few Months.
“Allah k naam par dey de baba”
In heaven together we were in a big hall.
In heaven together we were in a big hall.
An Angel told us to write our sins before going in,
but before l could start writing any thing
l heard you caling for ”EXTRA SHEET”.
1 larki ki dua
Kasam se her larkay ko bhula dungi,
Sab hi ki tasveerain jala dungi,
Ek tum hi raho gay is dil main,
Balance dalwa do tumhe dua dungi,
What is the fastest thing in world?
What is the fastest thing in world?
Oxford:Light
Harvard:Thought
Texas:Blink of an eye
Sardar:It’s loose motions,
because last night I was lying in my bed
& before I could blink,think or turn on the lights,
it was over!
God has given many qualities to you
God has given many qualities to you,
Good look, personality, charm, intelligence,
And many more……this is call as
“Allah meherbaan to gadha bhi pehalwan…”
3 new girl friends.
Maths teacher asked JOHNY
“If u have 12 chocalate and u give 5 to DONA,
3 to ALICE and 4 to ROMA then wat will u get ?
JOHNY replied “Sir! 3 new girl friends”.
U r a nice person…
U r a nice person…
but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning…
1st. pray to God so that u can live….
2nd.take a bath so that others can live….
Kisi ko deni ho jawani main saza
koi chez be-wafai se barh ker kia hogi,
Ghum-e-tanhai judai se barh ker kia hogi,
Kisi ko deni ho jawani main saza,
to wo saza PARHAI se barh ker kia hogi:-)
Was my fault…
Last night was my fault,
my wife asked,
“what’s on the TV?”
and ….. I said, “dust!”
when wordz fail eyz works
when wordz fail eyz works
when eyz fail heart works
when heart fails to kia ???
.
.
.
.
samajh le tapak gaya;)
Love is possible after friendship
Love is possible after friendship
but
friendship is not possible after love
because
medicines work before death
later nothing can be cured….!!!
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